A week ago I wrote a lovely blog about the lessons I learned in just one day here in Milan. Unfortunately the blog didn't save so I lost the piece and was too lazy to rewrite the whole thing, but I was amazed at what I could accomplish in just one day.
The blog essentially said that there are lessons all around us...that it's just a matter of opening our eyes so we can see them. For example, I learned that we really shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. I had assumed this girl who worked in the tea shop was an immigrant and working there because it was an easy job, but I later found out she had her PhD in anthropology...completely unexpected. Who knows why she works in the tea room, but it's certainly not for a lack of education.
This past weekend has been, by far, the best I've had in Milan and probably one of the best in general in quite a long while. Granted, I had a fantastic time in Dublin last weekend with my dear friends there, but this past weekend in Italy was just what I needed to restore my sense of wonder and appreciation for the small things.
Friday night started out pretty low key. I went to my friend Katy's apartment to have aperitivo with her roommates and her. We sat around the house until midnight talking and that simple thing mad me so happy...probably because I was with people my own age and not just the family I've been living with. It's so nice to have your own space and to have friends together. Just like last weekend with Jamie and Tommy in Dublin, having dinner with friends and socializing with them is such an easy way to have a good time. We even played stupid games last weekend but it was so much fun!
After the aperitivo on Friday night we went to a club near where I live in Milan. It was a 50's theme party with DJs playing all the great songs from that time period. We danced until 4 or so in the morning. I am surprised I was able to stay up that long but we had such a fantastic time. I even met a nice boy who walked me home because it was so late.
Saturday was one of those perfect days where you do nothing extraordinary, but enjoy every minute of it. I went into the center to get my race packet for the 10K I was doing on Sunday, then I sat in the square in front of the duomo waiting on Katy. I got a watermelon slushie and enjoyed the sun while I people watched. I'm telling you, I could do this every day. I smiled and had to control myself so I wouldn't laugh out loud. People watching has to be the best activity ever. I saw so many things that made me smile. There was one guy, I'm guessing Swedish, dressed in jean shorts, hemmed with a burberry like fabric, and a white undershirt that made me giggle...I kept picturing my friend Josh in this outfit and it makes me laugh still. There were some American girls that were complaining of walking too much, and a tiny little boy, maybe 2 1/2 years old, riding a bike around everyone's feet. Simple things, but so great.
When Katy arrived, we went to this place near the duomo called Mama Burger. After drinking a bit too much on Friday, it was the perfect cure to our night out. The burgers were gigantic and came with fries and a beer (hair of the dog and all). Amazing doesn't even begin to describe it. We left the burger joint and got a few beers for our purse and then we walked down to Parco Sempione. In the sunshine, there were tons of people laying out, playing soccer, etc. in the park. We put a sheet out and enjoyed more people watching (my jean shorts guy passed again) and chatting about future plans for travel, etc. We decided to move to the bar/restaurant in the park and were enjoying more people watching, I'm telling you it's the best, when I started drooling over "Maverick" from Top Gun. I couldn't stop staring at this guy and Katy agreed, he was beautiful.
We were trying to be serious and talk about all our future plans, my not knowing what to do next and what path the Lord has laid out for me, when all of a sudden a bird pooped on my head! Just last weekend, Jamie and Tommy and I were talking about this and how it had never happened to us, but that it is supposed to be a sign of good luck. I was a bit grossed out, and laughing uncontrollably, but finally said, "It's ok; it's good fortune." The waiter brought over some napkins and also laughing, he said the same thing "Buona fortuna," so Katy and I are convinced something good is coming.
My race was first thing Sunday morning, and honestly, I didn't think I'd make it the whole way. I got up and went to the duomo (starting point) and waited an hour before we began. I haven't been running much so I wasn't sure the 10k was possible, but adrenaline kicked in and it was actually quite easy. I got before and after shots of myself to remember the day.
Sitting back at the duomo with beer in hand after the race (rebuild those carbs) a guy walked up and sat down next to me. He was in Milan visiting for the weekend. He wasn't someone attractive and actually I found him to be quite a slob upon first impressions, but he was so nice. He spoke very little English but we enjoyed chatting a while. In a text he later sent, he said "You are beautiful, me thinks." So, so kind. I believe, whatever the reason, he was meant to be at the duomo with me yesterday, maybe as a reminder for me to be polite to everyone, to give everyone a chance.
After I got back home I made a big plate of pasta bolognase and then went out to the park to lie in the sun a few hours. I actually am beginning to get some color back! My friend from Friday night called and invited me out that evening so I met him for gelatto and a walk through the park. It was really a nice way to finish the weekend. I think it all goes back to keeping eyes open and staying positive about things. I'm not always good at this, and often, I complain about things, but I'm getting better. I found a Shakespeare quote that says "Nothing either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so." I think this is my new motto. Things will happen, one way or the other, so why not stay positive and enjoy life? Good things from now on. :)
Monday, March 26, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Parenting 101
You might read that title and ask yourself "What is Hannah doing writing about parenting; she doesn't have any children." You are absolutely right too. I've got no kids, but I have helped, in some small way, to raise quite a few.
I began babysitting when I was ten, and yes, that means I've got 20 years of experience in the "field." I went to school to become an educator and thus taught, raising my experience level even more, for another 7 years. I've done diaper duty to prom preparation and everything in between. I've kept kids who have already graduated college for goodness sake...and are quite likely to marry and have kids before me!! In this time, I've not been a parent, but I've certainly had some of the responsibilities of one and I think it's been fantastic preparation for what will one day, hopefully, be the chance to put all that I've learned into practice with my own darling children.
Last week, I wrote on my personal Facebook page and Gia's page about kids' chores. I was curious if kids in Italy were required to do less than kids in the states and if that's a cultural thing or not. I had a friend comment on all the tasks her four year old daughter (in SC) does to help build responsibility. I didn't get paid for chores growing up, but there were certain things around the house that I was required to do, and I don't think I complained too much about it (I'll check with Mom on this). I believe it is important to teach kids to be responsible from an early age because it carries over into adulthood.
Here is a list of some of the things the children here in Italy, in this family, DON'T do.
Girl (11) Boy (15)
Put away pjs Put away pjs (he actually leaves them on the sofa each morning)
Put away dishes (leaves them unless I ask)
Flush the toilet...quite often, he "forgets"
Make bed Make bed
Put away wet towels Put away wet towels
Put lid on toothpaste when finished
To my knowledge, there are no "requirements" in this household of things the children must do. They will, with reluctance, do things if asked.
Along with the lack of responsibility, the children, in my humble opinion, are learning no respect for elders. At first, I thought it was a "lost in translation thing," but I'm becoming more and more familiar with their tone with their parents and I can see it's not about the language. For example, the 15 year old has all to often addressed me in a tone which quite frankly, wouldn't fly at home. "Hannah, you need to cook the pasta more." "Hannah, buy the pesto from Essalunga." Now, I let it slide a few times, but after a while, I politely reminded the child that there is a right way and a wrong way to ask for something. He will not tell me what to do. If he'd like something, he can simply put it in the form of a question and add a please! "Hannah, would you please buy the pesto from..." will go a lot farther than the latter.
Two weeks ago, on the mother's birthday, we all went to the mountains together. The mother came downstairs in tears because she was upset with her daughter and she didn't know what to do. The child was so difficult. It was hard for me because I was there when the daughter pitched a fit about her ski bib not fitting and refused to ski with her mother. We (the mom, son and I) went on without the daughter but it was a miserable day as "Mom" was upset from it all.
Last night, the 15 year old came home from a tennis tournament which required him to miss school on Wednesday. He and his mother got into a screaming match for over an hour about how he didn't want to go to school on Thursday. I thought the mother would win when I heard her telling him, in Italian "be more responsible." To my great disappointment, he's home today. Yes, he woke up at a nice 9 am and went straight to the TV. Again, this wouldn't fly. I asked him why he was home, he told me it was because he didn't have an assignment that was due today, and he went back to watching TV. AGH!
I do realize that I've only been here two months and I don't know the entire situation since I can't understand all of the language, but I do know from observation that something is off in this household. I can't come right out and say the family is doing things wrong because there is a lot they do well. When they are all happy, it's a pleasant place to be. They get along great and crack jokes. The children say their please and thank yous (to me) and are polite the majority of the time. When they are arguing though, it's a different story.
I try not to look at parents and judge because you never know what another person is thinking or doing, but living in Italy has given me a true behind the scenes look at the way this family ticks. It's also made me really grateful for the amazing parents I had growing up, and instilled in me values I hope to pass along to my own kids one day.
I began babysitting when I was ten, and yes, that means I've got 20 years of experience in the "field." I went to school to become an educator and thus taught, raising my experience level even more, for another 7 years. I've done diaper duty to prom preparation and everything in between. I've kept kids who have already graduated college for goodness sake...and are quite likely to marry and have kids before me!! In this time, I've not been a parent, but I've certainly had some of the responsibilities of one and I think it's been fantastic preparation for what will one day, hopefully, be the chance to put all that I've learned into practice with my own darling children.
Last week, I wrote on my personal Facebook page and Gia's page about kids' chores. I was curious if kids in Italy were required to do less than kids in the states and if that's a cultural thing or not. I had a friend comment on all the tasks her four year old daughter (in SC) does to help build responsibility. I didn't get paid for chores growing up, but there were certain things around the house that I was required to do, and I don't think I complained too much about it (I'll check with Mom on this). I believe it is important to teach kids to be responsible from an early age because it carries over into adulthood.
Here is a list of some of the things the children here in Italy, in this family, DON'T do.
Girl (11) Boy (15)
Put away pjs Put away pjs (he actually leaves them on the sofa each morning)
Put away dishes (leaves them unless I ask)
Flush the toilet...quite often, he "forgets"
Make bed Make bed
Put away wet towels Put away wet towels
Put lid on toothpaste when finished
To my knowledge, there are no "requirements" in this household of things the children must do. They will, with reluctance, do things if asked.
Along with the lack of responsibility, the children, in my humble opinion, are learning no respect for elders. At first, I thought it was a "lost in translation thing," but I'm becoming more and more familiar with their tone with their parents and I can see it's not about the language. For example, the 15 year old has all to often addressed me in a tone which quite frankly, wouldn't fly at home. "Hannah, you need to cook the pasta more." "Hannah, buy the pesto from Essalunga." Now, I let it slide a few times, but after a while, I politely reminded the child that there is a right way and a wrong way to ask for something. He will not tell me what to do. If he'd like something, he can simply put it in the form of a question and add a please! "Hannah, would you please buy the pesto from..." will go a lot farther than the latter.
Two weeks ago, on the mother's birthday, we all went to the mountains together. The mother came downstairs in tears because she was upset with her daughter and she didn't know what to do. The child was so difficult. It was hard for me because I was there when the daughter pitched a fit about her ski bib not fitting and refused to ski with her mother. We (the mom, son and I) went on without the daughter but it was a miserable day as "Mom" was upset from it all.
Last night, the 15 year old came home from a tennis tournament which required him to miss school on Wednesday. He and his mother got into a screaming match for over an hour about how he didn't want to go to school on Thursday. I thought the mother would win when I heard her telling him, in Italian "be more responsible." To my great disappointment, he's home today. Yes, he woke up at a nice 9 am and went straight to the TV. Again, this wouldn't fly. I asked him why he was home, he told me it was because he didn't have an assignment that was due today, and he went back to watching TV. AGH!
I do realize that I've only been here two months and I don't know the entire situation since I can't understand all of the language, but I do know from observation that something is off in this household. I can't come right out and say the family is doing things wrong because there is a lot they do well. When they are all happy, it's a pleasant place to be. They get along great and crack jokes. The children say their please and thank yous (to me) and are polite the majority of the time. When they are arguing though, it's a different story.
I try not to look at parents and judge because you never know what another person is thinking or doing, but living in Italy has given me a true behind the scenes look at the way this family ticks. It's also made me really grateful for the amazing parents I had growing up, and instilled in me values I hope to pass along to my own kids one day.
Monday, March 5, 2012
"Here comes the rain, here comes the rain."
Years ago, I went to New Orleans Jazz Fest with my dear friend Ashley Henson. It was one of our many trips to follow Dave Matthews and Widespread Panic. We arrived at the fairgrounds for the shows to begin and not long after Dave took the stage, it began to rain. He was about to sing his song JTR, and with the instruments already playing the melody, he sang "Here comes the rain, here comes the rain." Then in true Dave Matthews form, he muttered some incomprehensible phrases to himself and the show went on. It was one of the best concerts I ever went to, despite the rain. We left soaked to the bone and with blackened feet from our flip flops in the mud, but none of that mattered...it actually made the event more memorable.
Living in Ireland, I got a good taste of the rain. It didn't matter if it was terrible outside, you still got up most days and did something. It might have been a walk through St. Stephens Green to Grafton Street or a jog down the canal. It could have been miserable outside, but life went on because it had to, because it was normal in Dublin and people had jobs to do, no matter the weather. There were days when I would prefer to sit on the "couch" and watch movies, but most days, if I didn't have to work, I got up and did something just to get out of the house. My friends and I commented on this a lot because back home, if we had weather like that we'd just stay in the the house and lay low, but you can't do that in a place where the rain is so common. It becomes depressing.
It hasn't been rainy here in Milan much, but it began yesterday and is supposed to continue throughout the middle of the week. It's funny, but I woke up in a better mood today with the rain than I have in several days with sun. Yes, I love my sunshine and I will do just about anything to make sure I build back my tan, but the rain doesn't seem so bad here. It's coming down heavier than it did most days in Dublin, but it's refreshing here in Milan. Maybe it's because the city is so gray and dirty looking most of the time that the rain is almost a symbol for the cleansing of winter and freshness of spring. The grass is getting greener, the air is crisp, it's actually put me in a great mood. Waking up today, I planned to immediately go for a run but the rain was coming down too hard so I opted for a workout video. I showered and got ready for a grocery store trip and then even walked through the open market that is near my apartment on Monday. In Charleston, I'd probably go to and from work and that's it on a day like today, but Dublin taught me to get out there, even on the yucky days, and not let the rain bring me down. Yes, there are still times I'd rather fix a cup of hot tea and watch a movie, but for the most part, I'm learning to embrace even the rainy moments as good ones...from now on, I'll try to "seize the day" no matter the weather!
Living in Ireland, I got a good taste of the rain. It didn't matter if it was terrible outside, you still got up most days and did something. It might have been a walk through St. Stephens Green to Grafton Street or a jog down the canal. It could have been miserable outside, but life went on because it had to, because it was normal in Dublin and people had jobs to do, no matter the weather. There were days when I would prefer to sit on the "couch" and watch movies, but most days, if I didn't have to work, I got up and did something just to get out of the house. My friends and I commented on this a lot because back home, if we had weather like that we'd just stay in the the house and lay low, but you can't do that in a place where the rain is so common. It becomes depressing.
It hasn't been rainy here in Milan much, but it began yesterday and is supposed to continue throughout the middle of the week. It's funny, but I woke up in a better mood today with the rain than I have in several days with sun. Yes, I love my sunshine and I will do just about anything to make sure I build back my tan, but the rain doesn't seem so bad here. It's coming down heavier than it did most days in Dublin, but it's refreshing here in Milan. Maybe it's because the city is so gray and dirty looking most of the time that the rain is almost a symbol for the cleansing of winter and freshness of spring. The grass is getting greener, the air is crisp, it's actually put me in a great mood. Waking up today, I planned to immediately go for a run but the rain was coming down too hard so I opted for a workout video. I showered and got ready for a grocery store trip and then even walked through the open market that is near my apartment on Monday. In Charleston, I'd probably go to and from work and that's it on a day like today, but Dublin taught me to get out there, even on the yucky days, and not let the rain bring me down. Yes, there are still times I'd rather fix a cup of hot tea and watch a movie, but for the most part, I'm learning to embrace even the rainy moments as good ones...from now on, I'll try to "seize the day" no matter the weather!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Non Parlo :(
I had very interesting learning experiences yesterday and today, so I thought I better get to blogging so I could share them. Yesterday was an ordinary day...I had to pick up the kids and drive them home from school. The good thing was that noone had appointments after school like they normally do.
It was a sunny day and warmer than it's been, so I enjoyed getting up and going out for a short run yesterday morning. I took Mia, the Border Collie, and we sat in the sun for about half an hour. When we came home, I went out on the balcony in the sun for another hour or so. I left to get Matteo from school, but didn't realize he was getting out an hour later yesterday so I was in the car waiting for a long time (not happy as I'm trying to get some sort of color back on my pasty skin and I could have been in the sun this whole time). As soon as I found out Matteo would be late, I headed towards Elena. I needed gas, but I had to pick up Elena from school first. She and I went to the gas station after I got her, which hasn't been a problem for me in the past, but yesterday we had some issues.
We drove into the station, which is closed for lunch hours, and attempted to do self service. I've not done this before in Italy so putting the cash in the machine and figuring out what to do next was a trick. I asked Elena to press the button for our pump, but I guess she didn't do so because another man came up right behind us and put his 20 euro in on top of our 30. This means that when he pressed the pump number it assumed he wanted 50 euro in gas...in his moped. He was polite and told us to move the car so we could get gas after he was done, and he gave Elena the pump to hold so it wouldn't reset. Well, it did anyway. We couldn't get anything . I was on empty and had been for three days but we couldn't do anything now. The station was closed and I was out of cash. I don't use my cards here so we had no choice but to leave. Another couple had offered to give us 5 euro to make sure I had enough gas to get to Matteo and back but I declined. We raced to get Matteo from school and went back to the station (which opens at 2) to explain to the attendant what had happened. Luckily, I had the receipt from the earlier attempt so we were able to get our money back and then retry. I was so frustrated as noone at the station spoke English and Elena had no clue what to do or say. It was hard for her to translate what I was trying to express. Thankfully we accomplished it after a while and we were good to go...and I now know to make sure to press the number on the pump without asking Ely to do it!!
This morning was another "fun" experience for me. I've been trying to find a salon to get my hair cut and highlighted and finally found one near the apartment that looked decent and sold good products (I often judge based on what is stocked on the product shelf). I made an appointment for this morning, but was nervous because the salon owner spoke little English and I didn't know what was going to happen. Elena taught me how to say "Come questi capelli" and I have been practicing all week to say this when I planned to show a picture of Jenny McCarthy's hair. I even used a mneumonic device and sang this phrase to "Ice Ice Baby" to help me remember. Well, wouldn't you know my phone wouldn't open the internet site I had saved with the pic so I had nothing to go by this morning. The salon owner and stylist understood pretty well what I was trying to say, but when she took the razor to the back of my head I started crying! She stopped and said "calmo, tranquile" over and over so I tried to repeat in my head "it will grow back, it will grow back" over and over. Luckily, she saw my nervous reaction and didn't take much more. The back of my head is stacked pretty well and the color turned out ok, very blonde, but boy that was nerve racking this am. I kept thinking I'd need a glass of wine later to help me relax!
All of these simple little tasks become so complicated when there is a language barrier. I'm learning a good bit of Italian, but it's mostly vocabulary or random phrases. I was proud to have my one beauty shop phrase memorized and I didn't even get to use it! I am taking all of these moments in as learning experiences though...I have just a few more months here (which is hard to believe) so I will do my best to gain even more Italian knowledge and go home better for it. I've gotten pretty good at finding a way to communicate so I'll just keep on trucking and hope someone understands!
It was a sunny day and warmer than it's been, so I enjoyed getting up and going out for a short run yesterday morning. I took Mia, the Border Collie, and we sat in the sun for about half an hour. When we came home, I went out on the balcony in the sun for another hour or so. I left to get Matteo from school, but didn't realize he was getting out an hour later yesterday so I was in the car waiting for a long time (not happy as I'm trying to get some sort of color back on my pasty skin and I could have been in the sun this whole time). As soon as I found out Matteo would be late, I headed towards Elena. I needed gas, but I had to pick up Elena from school first. She and I went to the gas station after I got her, which hasn't been a problem for me in the past, but yesterday we had some issues.
We drove into the station, which is closed for lunch hours, and attempted to do self service. I've not done this before in Italy so putting the cash in the machine and figuring out what to do next was a trick. I asked Elena to press the button for our pump, but I guess she didn't do so because another man came up right behind us and put his 20 euro in on top of our 30. This means that when he pressed the pump number it assumed he wanted 50 euro in gas...in his moped. He was polite and told us to move the car so we could get gas after he was done, and he gave Elena the pump to hold so it wouldn't reset. Well, it did anyway. We couldn't get anything . I was on empty and had been for three days but we couldn't do anything now. The station was closed and I was out of cash. I don't use my cards here so we had no choice but to leave. Another couple had offered to give us 5 euro to make sure I had enough gas to get to Matteo and back but I declined. We raced to get Matteo from school and went back to the station (which opens at 2) to explain to the attendant what had happened. Luckily, I had the receipt from the earlier attempt so we were able to get our money back and then retry. I was so frustrated as noone at the station spoke English and Elena had no clue what to do or say. It was hard for her to translate what I was trying to express. Thankfully we accomplished it after a while and we were good to go...and I now know to make sure to press the number on the pump without asking Ely to do it!!
This morning was another "fun" experience for me. I've been trying to find a salon to get my hair cut and highlighted and finally found one near the apartment that looked decent and sold good products (I often judge based on what is stocked on the product shelf). I made an appointment for this morning, but was nervous because the salon owner spoke little English and I didn't know what was going to happen. Elena taught me how to say "Come questi capelli" and I have been practicing all week to say this when I planned to show a picture of Jenny McCarthy's hair. I even used a mneumonic device and sang this phrase to "Ice Ice Baby" to help me remember. Well, wouldn't you know my phone wouldn't open the internet site I had saved with the pic so I had nothing to go by this morning. The salon owner and stylist understood pretty well what I was trying to say, but when she took the razor to the back of my head I started crying! She stopped and said "calmo, tranquile" over and over so I tried to repeat in my head "it will grow back, it will grow back" over and over. Luckily, she saw my nervous reaction and didn't take much more. The back of my head is stacked pretty well and the color turned out ok, very blonde, but boy that was nerve racking this am. I kept thinking I'd need a glass of wine later to help me relax!
All of these simple little tasks become so complicated when there is a language barrier. I'm learning a good bit of Italian, but it's mostly vocabulary or random phrases. I was proud to have my one beauty shop phrase memorized and I didn't even get to use it! I am taking all of these moments in as learning experiences though...I have just a few more months here (which is hard to believe) so I will do my best to gain even more Italian knowledge and go home better for it. I've gotten pretty good at finding a way to communicate so I'll just keep on trucking and hope someone understands!
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